


nothing that happens is ever forgotten—

by em5182



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Chat Blanc - Freeform, Deja Vu, F/M, Heartache, LadyNoir - Freeform, Post Chat Blanc, Sad, What Happens After, remembering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 23:00:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21382009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/em5182/pseuds/em5182
Summary: (—even if you can’t remember it. -Spirited Away)As Chat Noir sits on top of the roof, he can’t help but feel like he was forgetting something. Something that made him happy and sad at the same time. Something leaving him full and empty. Something missing… and he couldn’t place his finger on it.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 14
Kudos: 172





	nothing that happens is ever forgotten—

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for Chat Blanc. And as if the episode wasn’t that heartbreaking, here’s more sadness...

As Chat Noir sat on the top of the roof, Ladybug’s head on his shoulder, he felt full and empty at the same time. He felt happy and sad at the same time. He felt missing and found at the same time. There was a raise in his heartbeat. It was mixed with love and a deeper kind of sad love. 

Love, love and appreciation for his lady… and more. When he looked at her, there was more. There was always more. But, today, there was something else. It was as if he figured out a whole new side of his lady that made him love her even more. He just couldn’t place his finger on it. 

Another part of his heart beat painfully. He felt like he was missing someone… someone he loved… someone who never left him, yet he couldn’t find them. Why? 

He didn’t fight any akuma today, so why did his shoulders feel so heavy? Why does it feel there was a weight above his chest? Was it guilt? Was it regret? What was it? He couldn’t figure it out, and that was frustrating. 

He tried to cool down by singing to himself. It was a good thing Ladybug came when she did. It was odd when she rested her head on his shoulder, but he didn’t complain. It was unexpected, but he enjoyed it as it was.

“Hey, Chat,” she said after the sun had fully set. The sky was still light. It was twilight. The in-between of light and darkness. 

“Yes?”

“Promise me… we won’t figure out each other’s identities.”

Chat Noir looked at Ladybug with an astonished look, “Wha—why?”

Ladybug, who was looking at Chat’s eyes and horrified expression, withdrew her gaze and stared at the sky, “I think I understand now. Chat, horrible things will happen if we know…”

“Like what?” Chat asked, unable to keep his emotions in check.

“Hawkmoth could find out… and he’d use that against us. What if he hurts you!” 

“I’d protect both of us!” 

“I-I don’t want to lose you.” 

“You won’t!” Chat said, holding both of Ladybug’s hands in his. The both of them sitting up, face-to-face.

“You’ll fall in love with me,” Ladybug said, barely a whisper.

“I already do,” Chat said as solemnly. He leans his head forward, their foreheads touching each other. 

“I’ll fall in love with you,” she said, looking at his closed eyes with glossy ones. 

“Then, fall.”

“Our love will cause our downfall. Hawkmoth will rise.”

Chat grips his hold tighter, saying nothing. His eyebrows knitted together. 

“I can’t lov—we can’t know. Not now. Not yet. Not anytime soon.”

“Buginette,” the words flow out before he could process what he said. He opens his eyes and looks straight at hers. And, seeing the glazed bluebell eyes, his tears didn’t hesitate to fall. 

Ladybug took a sharp intake of breath. “Chat, you know I can’t…”

“You can. I want you to…” Chat’s voice cracked.

“We’re superheroes… we can’t let the city down.”

“We can be happy.”

“And what about everyone else?” Ladybug struggled to keep her voice under control.

Both of their chests raised and dropped, breathing heavily together.

Chat sighs. He shakes as he breaths. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt because he knew she loved him too. It hurt more than it should have because he knew she loved him too. It hurt so much because they couldn’t be happy. It hurt so much because… it could work… but they would lose. 

“Would there come a right time?” he asked. 

“I hope…”

“Then, I can wait till then.” Chat stands up to leave, the light of the sun fully gone. The sky was now a dark indigo and the city lights were glowing from below. 

“Chat… I don’t want to fall.”

Chat swallowed, suddenly finding it hard to speak.

“Then don’t.”

Chat Noir leaped away, leaving Ladybug on the roof. His eyes glossed again, but he didn’t let the tears fall this time. He released his transformation as he entered his open bedroom window and flopped down on his bed. 

What did Ladybug mean? Adrien tried to think… if they figured out their identities, would they fall in love with each other? Or did Ladybug already love him? No, she loves another. But, he knew she cared about him… however, not in the way he wants it to be. 

“Plagg…” Adrien whines.

“Here’s the answer to all your problems: cheese.”

Adrien sighs and in trying to speak in Plaggs love language, “Do you think my cheese is old? Do you think I preserved it for too long… and it became moldy? Should I… throw it away?”

“Adrien, it’s not bad to notice other flavours of cheese… but if the cheese you are preserving is a really good kind of cheese, it’ll last a long time. And the longer preserved the cheese is, the better it tastes! Take my camembert for example.”

Adrien manages a half-chuckle when Plagg floats with a block of cheese close to his face. “Ew, that’s disgusting, Plagg.”

“Only you think it is. Don’t insult my love.”

Adrien gives a last smile before drowning his head to his pillow and groaning. 

“Adrien,” Natalie calls out, opening his door. “Your dinner is prepared.”

“Thank you. I’ll be right there.”  
  
Adrien stands up to leave, awkward and stiff. He walked past Natalie, emotionless and monotonously. As he walked past the door of his father’s office, he hesitates to look back at Natalie. After a few seconds, he gave in. He wanted to know…

“Will father be joining us—me today?”

“I will check up on him if he has finished his work.” 

Adrien sighs, defeated, “Alright. Thanks.”

However, Adrien didn’t move, but stare a little longer at the door with the butterfly design. It gave him an ominous feeling. He didn’t know how to place it or why he was feeling as such.

It was probably just his father and his anxiety on whether he would be joining dinner or not. That was all it was.

In addition to that, Adrien finally knew why he was feeling empty while up on that roof. He was missing someone. He was missing his mom. It was such a weird day today. But, he was missing her. And, it felt like she was so close… Adrien just wishes she were here right now. He wants to have a warm dinner, accompanied with the people he loves. He wants her warmth and motherly-love. He misses that… 

Sighing, Adrien walks into the dining room. He didn’t see Natalie look at him with concern. He didn’t see her looking at him anxiously. He didn’t see the lost look on her face, as if she remembered something important about him, but forgot. He didn’t see the pitying look in her eyes, but she quickly shook it away to return to her professional attitude.

He sat down just as it started to rain. That was weird, Adrien thought. Didn’t it just rain yesterday?

“Hey, Natalie, did it rain yesterday?” 

“No. It did not.”

“Oh? Then… nevermind. I must be thinking of another day.”

With that, Natalie nodded and left the room. Adrien ate half of what was on his plate, not having any appetite. He was still a bit shaken after all Ladybug had said. He just wanted to be in his room and think it through. 

Finishing his dinner, he retreats back to his room trying to ignore the fact that his father never joined him. 

Back in his room, on the desk, he spots the beret that was gifted to him. Yet again, the object gave him feelings that swirled around in his stomach and heart, reminding him of all he had lost. The only problem was, he didn't know what he lost or why he was feeling that way. 

He picks up the beret and thinks, “Why does this make me feel… so sad?”

The rain flows against the window of his bedroom and nothing could’ve made Adrien feel any more emptier. 


End file.
